4 weeks on testosterone

Many have been telling me that I am much more abrasive lately, and sarcastic. I am usually just joking around, but I have been taken the wrong way a lot lately. Just a lil something I don't think I mentioned in the video. Two days until one month!

Three Weeks on T

I forgot to mention it in the video.. but the fat redistribution is kicking in. I have noticed more.. scratch that.. I have noticed some fat on my belly. I have never had that before, but I am quite okay with it. :)

In other news, no dice on the getting a new id badge. My advisor doesn't believe that I actually have a problem with it, just with security. She doesn't really understand that having to wear a badge with my old name on it is humiliating. So I am not sure what is going to happen with that.

Just gonna vent for a minute..

Sometimes life is just unfair, I get that.

Yesterday a security guard at my school called me out for not wearing my ID. Out of my entire group of friends I was with, he took down my name and gave me an official warning. He was also the same security guard who started treating me different when I was having trouble breathing, and he learned that my ID did not say Drew. I am working with the school to get a new one with the first initial or something, because there is no way I am wearing a badge that has my given name. It is degrading, and I refuse.

Also, some of my friends decided to out me to their friends when they asked how we knew each other. I did not really think that was necessary. I did tell my friend that he was allowed to tell anyone he wanted really, because it saved me the trouble of telling people. But I think I should have been more specific. I meant only tell people that knew me previously, not to new people.

I am a very open person. I don't mind talking to people, especially if they have questions about me being transgender and all, but.. I don't think they need to hear what my given name was.

Lately I have been very touchy about people calling me by that name, and it makes me extremely uncomfortable. Almost everyone who I associate with calls me Drew, and I would like to keep it that way. I understand that people slip up, and thats fine. I get it. You just don't have to go around intentionally telling people the name I used have.

Okay, done venting for now. Just had to get that out there.

Quick two weeks on T update

Officially, yesterday when this was recorded.. it was two weeks on T. I gave myself my third shot. Not much to say, but here is a little.

Visit to the hospital..

My experience going to the hospital for anxiety. I didn't know it was anxiety, but.. I guess thats all it was. I have never had to inform so many people about the fact that I was trans over and over again in one night. That, and most of the doctors didn't know how to proceed. The paramedics were cool though.



It seemed that most of the people I talked to were virtually clueless as to how to treat a transgender patient. This was pretty discouraging for me. I guess I just assumed that doctors would know.. something, about hormone replacement therapy.. but, I guess I was wrong. Now I know why I will be going to Howard Brown from now on.. for every thing. Try to minimize the awkwardness.

11 days on T, quick update

Hey, I forgot to upload my one week video, and now its on a plane to Italy.. so, here is a week and a half, kinda. Eleven days.



Changes so far, my voice feels the same.. can't notice to much of a difference besides that initial change I noticed. I have been thirsty a lot more, drinking a lot of water. I think I have had an increase in appetite, been eating a lot.. and sleeping after. My muscles feel sore, and I have been feeling like I need to stretch a lot more lately. Haven't been working out, but.. I think I am going to start.

Emotionally, I feel so much better. It feels good to be me.. and not like crap. I don't really know how to word that any other way. I don't feel so vulnerable, or weak as I used to, and my self-esteem has been better lately.

I know this is quick, but.. its purpose is really just to document right now. Hopefully in the future I will be sightly more thoughtful in these postings.

My last video was a bit of a downer..

I noticed a slight raspyness in my throat that I can't clear. Nothing that anyone but me can really tell, but.. Its there. :)



Talked to my manager at work, it was pretty awkward, but mostly just because we both really didn't know how to go about anything. Overall it was good though.

Day two on T update

I am so sorry for this post. I am exhausted, but.. I don't like to re-shoot my videos because I like to make them as accurate as possible to how I am feeling. So, yea. Here it is:



Coming out to my supervisor at work, Yaya, was awesome. She was so cool about it, didn't even blink. She talked to my manager, and I will have an informal meeting with my manager tomorrow. I am not really sure what all I need to discuss, or what all I need from her. I know that I will be asking her for a new name tag, and to address me as Drew. I also need to figure out the locker room situation, and few more things. But, at least my manager knows and will be there for me.

Pre-T

Today I went to the howard brown medical center in Chicago to complete my third step of their process. All I had to do was meet with my dr for a few min, make sure my blood work was okay, and get my prescription. After she wrote the prescription, I went over to the pharmacy and got my syringes and testosterone.

I was prescribed .5ml once a week with 23 gauge syringes.

Once I had my prescriptions filled, I went back to howard brown for a "nurse visit" where she showed me how to do my first injection. I opted to do it myself, but with her explaining and watching step by step. I learn better this way. Most guys I know have the nurse inject them the first time, but, I didn't want to be nervous next week.

First day on T! Frankly, I don't feel any different, but I believe that is to be expected. Its one day. I couldn't be happier though.

Pre-Testosterone / Intro

This week has been a crazy one for me. After not having a period for four months, and loving it.. I got mine a week before I am supposed to start T. My emotions have been all over the place. I was hoping to give a little bit better of an analysis on how I was feeling emotionally and so forth, but.. all I can really go off of is my experiences.

Right now, school and money are two huge stressors in my life. I just unexpectedly quit one of my two jobs. Which should ease up on the pressure. I also just came out at school this past week, and to my mother. I told my brother a few weeks ago. My family and friends have all been very supportive. School gets a little awkward, but I think most people just try and avoid names and pronouns. Which works for now.

I have yet to tell my dad. This will probably be the hardest part of my transition. I am kind of close to him, and love him greatly. We have just never had a really great communication.

Anywho. This is what I have for an intro.. Hopefully as I go on, this will become much more organized.

Introductions

Hello!

My name is Drew. I am a 21 year old ftm transsexual. If everything goes as planned, I will be starting testosterone tomorrow! Can't even explain how excited I am. I am basically starting this blog to document my transition. I am not quite sure how I will be doing this, but I plan on including voice changes, physical changes, and documenting my thoughts. I am doing this not only for myself, but to hopefully help other transgendered individuals. Well, this is all I have for now. Hopefully I will be able to post some pre-t images before tomorrow, and a voice clip. I am still getting used to using blogger.. so bare with me everyone. This should be the start of a very exciting journey!